Fantastic Four:
The Rise Of The Silver Surfer
It is no mere coincidence that gay marriage truly became law in
Massachusetts the same day that the new Fantastic Four movie
premiered atthe cinema complex on the Boston Common.
You see, marriage IS an evolving paradigm and when anything
feels threatened - even the God-forsaken
notions of whacked out radical so-called "Christians", well it is that
very perceived "threat" that gets the troops to rally, no matter which
side of the issue one chooses.
So on one hand you have this movie with the alleged marriage of Sue Storm
and Reed Richards, and then you have us, this first state in America,
declaring that guys can marry guys and gals can marry gals. When I say
"alleged marriage" of Sue & Reed it is because passion is absent in their
performance, they appear to be the typical heterosexual couple going
through the motions because it is what they are expected to do. Not to
mention that the acting is awful, as is the script when it comes to the
character development and creative things to say. Watch to see if there is
any real emotion when Reed is holding Sue's limp body after Victor Von
Doom attempts to kill the Surfer - it's truly an actor failing to do his
art - to act - there's absolutely no drama, no convincing moment that Reed
Richards is about to lose his wife, it's just a bad audition that somehow
made it onto a major motion picture.
Just where is the passion in this new Fantastic Four movie? The only
sparks that fly outside of planets getting eaten are between Reed Richards
and his nemesis, Victor Von Doom. If love and hate are two ends of the
same stick, well, Ioan Gruffudd (how can such a stiff play an elastic
man?) and Julian McMahon at least get the chance to display some of it.
Gruffudd and McMahon are two good looking men, McMahon the better looking
of the two, while their competitive streak found in the comic books would
make a better engagement of spiritual and psychological tension than
you'll ever find from the cardboard cut-out that is Jessica Alba as Susan
Storm-Richards. Now if you think Gruffudd's Reed Richards is a stiff,
combine him with the plastic Alba and you have a castrated Ken and Barbie
doll set - no genitals, no chemistry, and a bad script to boot!
It's 3:16 AM on June 15th...the film ran from 12:35 AM to about 2:10 AM
The film's best moments are when there are fight scenes. Norrin Radd - The Silver Surfer - comes off great in this flick, the special effects for both the Human Torch and Silver Surfer are superb. Andre Braugher is looking older than his character in the 1996 film "Primal Fear", but he still exudes that same arrogance and subtle wit that the other characters here force onto the screen. His all-business General Hager is easier to portray as he isn't given any of the multitude of corny lines which work great in a comic book and fall flat on the silver screen.
Galactus is not the personification from the pages of the book, the big purple-ish Terminator. No, here it is a huge cloud that is impressive and frightening, so chalk one good move up for the filmmakers. But this franchise would be so easy to turn into a Spiderman/X-Men goldmine and it is the script and the bad casting that spins it all out of control. The fight scenes and the special effects are over the top and that is the only reason this movie will have a fighting chance though I'm afraid they are really going to have to go back to the drawing board and come up with new writers and new actors.
If you want to see what the Stan Lee/ Jack Kirby vision of Doom is, take a look at where George Lucas stole the ideas for Darth Vader. It's no mere coincidence that the Silver Surfer is the voice of Morpheus from The Matrix, Laurence Fishburne while Doug Jones provides the physical aspect - just as James Earl Jones was the voice of Darth Vader combined with the physique of David Prowse. But Director Tim Story mixes and matches things and makes it all jumbled and somewhat tacky. The Darth Vader character seems to have been based on the comic book Dr. Doom and it is only when Victor puts on his iron mask does he have that chilling coldness. Keep in mind, he is not supposed to be a handsome man anymore but the picture of Dorian Grey after the fact.
The characters need build-up and they need to build up over more than two movies before a major "marriage" can believably happen. This ain't Lois Lane and Clark Kent, y'know, the Fantastic Four are relative newcomers to the silver screen, the Roger Corman FF movie a total cult item on bootleg DVDs.
Just as Richard Gere jumping into bed with his wife's lover, Olivier Martinez, would've saved the film that almost could've been - UNFAITHFUL (2002) - far more chemistry together than Diane Lane and Martinez (see photo below)
Reed Richards and Victor Von Doom needed to pair up in this event. Kill off Jessica Alba for a horrid acting job and let Julian McMahon give it to Ioan Gruffudd. It would be far more interesting than the comic, not cosmic, junk director Tim Story throws our way. For if hate is the other side of love, it is an emotion that would've given the picture some imagination and some edge. Remember what the Klingon Commander Kor said in Episode 26 of Star Trek
"Good, honest...hatred. Very refreshing."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Errand_of_Mercy_(TOS_episode)
Kor: [To council] "So you welcome me."
[To Kirk as Barona] "Do you also welcome me?"
Kirk: "You are here, there's nothing I can do about it."
Kor: "Good, honest...hatred. Very refreshing.
You may be a man i can deal with, Barona"
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7
"Good...honest....Hatred..........very refreshing.
3:34 AM June 15th
